I’ve had people tell me that disabled people are constantly horny, and are ready to have sex with any and everyone.The other extreme is that people have expressed shock and even outrage at the notion of sex with someone with a disability.Only 16 per cent have ever invited a disabled person to their house, and 67 per cent feel awkward around disabled people meaning they panic, or even avoid contact altogether.“The figures look shocking but when I started to think about it, it makes sense,” says Renke.Of course, when my date returned, I told him about the situation.His retort was priceless: “What does he want you to do? ” It became a running joke for the remainder of the relationship.And then she turned toward her husband, sitting in the audience, and smiled secretively at him. There are quite literally hundreds of ways to experience sexuality and sexual pleasure.
Nor does it mean she can’t date, or have boyfriends – regardless of what people around her think.Of course, dating a person with a disability means that you have to deal with family, friends and society – like any other relationship.What can make it a bit challenging, though, is that in many ways, society is very ambivalent and presumptuous about the idea of people with a disability having relationships."Sexuality encompasses the totality of our being," she says. You taste it throughout, and similarly our sexuality goes through all of us." Whipple advises people with disabilities -- particularly those with limited sensation in the "traditionally" sexual parts of the body -- to talk with partners about many of the ways to have erotic pleasure that do not involve the genital area."Sensuality and sexuality are much more than the genitals." From giving and receiving touch in areas of the body like the cheek, the neck, or the back of the hand to using scent -- candles and aromatherapy -- or music, Whipple suggests using all the senses for erotic pleasure.