Hello, I'm 6ft 5 but probably less than average, 'size' wise to be honest.
You know what it's like in showers and that, when you're kind of hiding yourself accidently on purpose while sneaking a peek at the confident guys :-). When I was a teen/early 20's, it was always women in their forties (at least) that I enjoyed the company of and I think, looking back, I didn't worry about the size thing because I was much younger and felt that my age wa my main attribute. We were at a private birthday party in a house and they got a ********.
I wouldn't have minded but I'm still asking myself why this is such a turn on?
I know if a ******** (still in underwear) sat on my lap, my g/f would be furious, night would be over and silent treatment would ensue for 2 days because she loves me and because I didn't react the same way (even tho she wants to repeat her night) I obviously don't??
Put simply, a needy person doesn’t feel good inside and then saddles the other person with the responsibility to make them feel better… whoops, “my battery died, sorry I didn’t call you back last night.” Nobody’s perfect. When you boil it all down, neediness is not some set of behaviors. When a person takes on the belief that another person is responsible for their happiness, their sense of well-being and their sense of self-esteem, then it’s guaranteed that they’re going to act needy as a result of that mindset.
(FYI, we have a whole chapter on this in our new book “He’s Not That Complicated: How to Crack a Man’s Romantic Code to Get the Relationship You Want“) Even the kindest, most well-meaning, most empathetic guy won’t be able to satisfy a woman who acts needy the majority of the time. I would be pretty surprised if you never had a needy guy around you. Making someone else responsible for your emotions is a key ingredient in creating a toxic relationship type dynamic, so it’s very important to guard against doing that (as well as recognize when others are doing that towards you).
The problem with neediness is that instead of inspiring all of those positive relationship qualities, the “needy person” acts as if their partner is denying them those good relationship qualities…
like they’re entitled to them and their partner is cruelly withholding it.
I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.
Silence about a former lover can indicate lack of closure.
Guilty feelings from carrying a secret torch often make a person not want to talk about an ex.
When I write dating tips and relationship advice for a new mode, I am writing to a female audience.
But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!