We will fight for our loved ones — even when our partners wish we wouldn't.I call this my "Mama Bear" instinct, in an effort to make adorable something I'm pretty sure annoys my partner.“If you date trans men, why don’t you just date, you know, a real man?” This question has definitely gotten me worked into a hold-my-purse, ready-to-scrap, tizzy a few times.
We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.
A significantly less happy surprise came when I began dating someone coming out as trans and others declared I was no longer a lesbian.
“You’re bisexual now,” or “No, you’re just hetero-flexible,” or even the occasional, “Are you sure you’re even queer?
It never has been, and it's always been important to us both to be out and open. But being the partner of someone who is part of a minority community that, at best, is enjoying some supposedly newfound "fascination" focus in the media has its own set of challenges.
These are just a few of those challenges I've encountered, and heard reflected back from other women partnered with trans men: 1.